Consider being at an intersection while you are out driving. You have the right-of-way, but there is an oncoming car who is apparently not going to slow down or stop for you. It is obvious you have two options. You can decide to hold tightly to the fact that you should be able to continue moving forward since it is your right, or you can decide to allow the person who is not planning to adhere to the rules to move through the intersection at their will. In this analogy, if you do not submit to the other driver, there could be a major accident causing more trouble for you than if you just surrender. The outcome will most likely be better for you if you decide to yield.
“Sometimes you must yield to yield!”
In our success in life, like the analogy above, it is the same. There are times we should choose to let something go or submit because it will produce a more positive outcome if we do.
It sounds reasonable, but the dilemma is, there are some selfish tendencies that hold us back. Our mindset is closed off to any idea that goes against what we think and especially if we believe we have the right-of-way.
Five selfish tendencies that hold us back from yielding the success we desire.
1.Pride – While confidence, determination, and respect are all great qualities, you won’t earn them or the admiration of others if you have too much pride. Prideful thinking can be interpreted as, “your way or the highway.” Pride is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason. It closes our mind to learning and jeopardizes relationships. Pride can happen out of fear of embarrassment or shame. The way to conquer pride is not to take yourself too seriously, learn to laugh at your mistakes and shortcomings, and admit that you do not know it all.
2.Stubbornness – Sometimes it is necessary to hold your ground and stand for what you believe in. However, not being willing to compromise or open to listen to someone else is no way to get ahead. Stubbornness can be brought on by feeling a lack of control, insecure, or a loss of trust. Albeit, stubbornness can have some positive impact, and there is a time and place for it, if used as an excuse or misused in other ways, stubbornness can cause all kinds of issues. Being to set in your ways can hold you back from being the best you can be.
3.Unforgiveness – Sometimes, one of the hardest things to do is let go when someone has harmed you or a loved one, and the last thing you want to do is forgive them. Forgiveness seems like a good idea in theory, but when it hits close to home, we often find ourselves holding grudges and being less forgiving than we had imagined. Sometimes we struggle to forgive people because we think they do not deserve it, or they should not be let off the hook for what they have done. While these feelings are valid, and the hurt we have experienced is real, the only person that unforgiveness hurts is you. Do not allow unforgiveness to harden your heart and keep you from the life you desire.
4.Impatience – There are serious consequences of being impatient. Being impatient complicates everything and does not allow you to enjoy the present. It increases the chance that you will be constantly dissatisfied and can destroy relationships you have with other people. Impatient people move from task to task without fully embracing the success they have accomplished so far. Additionally, there are health risks like high blood pressure, anxiety, increased chance of heart disease, and weight gain. Patience is a practiced habit, and no matter how impatient you believe you are; you can become a patient person with hard work and a decided mindset.
5.Self-pity – Say this out loud three times, “Bad things happen to everyone, not just me, and how I respond to them will define the quality of my life.” Awful things happen and dreadful circumstances and tragedies will affect most of our lives at some point or another. It is okay to feel the emotions that go along with that. It is okay to cry, mope, and even get angry, but at some point, you must shake it off, let it go, and not let it consume you. Otherwise, you will not be able to move forward in a positive way. Self-pity is not clinical depression, that is different. Self-pity as described in the Webster dictionary is a self-indulgent dwelling on your own sorrows and misfortunes. Unfortunately, life is not fair, and bad things happen to good people. You can decide to spread the misery of your circumstances, or you can decide to rise above it. When we focus on our own suffering, it makes us less aware of the needs of others around us. It is a form of selfishness.
Can you relate to any of these selfish tendencies? Selfishness is human nature, so it is normal, and you should not feel ashamed. The only thing to be ashamed of is not being willing to self-reflect and taking the necessary action to improve in these areas. Here is a great quote for you to consider as you contemplate in what area of your life do you need to yield to yield.
“I find so many opportunities to fall, to falter, and fail when I refuse to surrender to change. Change will come into my room and rearrange my tidy world. Then like dominoes, one thing changed falls upon another, until it feels like the world is collapsing around me. But when I yield, when I surrender to the necessary change, I can stand back and look at the beautiful picture created by what seemed to be my world falling apart.’ ~Stella Payton
Do not allow these selfish tendencies, that are found in all of us, hold you back from the goals and dreams you desire!
Kim Martin, Founder of I’ve Decided, INC