There is a definite difference between people who know their worth, and people who don’t. People who have self-esteem and believe they have value, give themselves the same respect and understanding they would give to anyone else. They know their strengths and recognize their own weaknesses. Essentially, they are OK with being FLAWSOME! Flawsome is a person with flaws who knows their awesome anyway. People who struggle with self-worth, tend to be overly concerned with what others think of them. They demonstrate risky behaviors to please people and sometimes even tolerate abuse just to feel loved. Here’s the thing, each of us can do better at seeing our worth. There are some deliberate thinking habits we can practice that will help us do a better job of loving ourselves.
Here are 10 thinking habits that can help you see your worth.
- My mistakes do not define my worth, nor does my success – I am fully responsible for my mistakes, but they do not define who I am. I recognize that I can work towards being the best I can be, but realize no matter how hard I work, I am still going to make mistakes. I am the first to say, I’m sorry”, but I will not beat myself up and degrade myself because I goofed. In fact, I will share my failures with others to help them, so they do not make the same mistakes I have. On the other hand, my wins do not define my worth either. It is a blessing to experience success when I have worked hard for something, and I am proud of myself when I achieve a goal, but I do not strive for success to get love or gain attention. I believe I am loved in my failures and in my successes. Neither mistakes nor success define my worth. I am worthy because God chose me and created me in His image.
- Material things do not add to my worth – I am not the house I live in or the car I drive. Yes, I love having nice things earned by my hard work, but they do not own my self-worth. Things can come and go and lose value, but I will never lose value. I have worth even in my lowest moments. Money is a great asset, but it does not define who I am. I am the same with little money or gobs of it. I work to be as successful as I possibly can, but I am happy with what I have in the moment. I believe in time, I will get the things I desire, but even if I don’t, I am still worthy.
- It’s OK to not be OK – I am not going to be happy all of the time, and that is totally OK! I will not feel guilty when I have emotions that creep in because of certain situations. I realize that it is a good thing to allow myself to feel the feels and to allow some space for this to happen. Emotions are helpful for me to recognize things that are going on around me. I understand that I am responsible for my feelings and how I behave. My emotions do not determine my decisions, but I allow myself to not be OK when needed.
- I am good with being alone – I am good when I spend time alone. I love being with friends and family, but I cherish time alone as well. I do not make decisions to attend events simply because I am afraid of missing out or being left out. I recognize that the people who really care about me will still care no matter what. What other people think is not my concern, and it is good for me to set boundaries. I understand that I have the right to invite the right people into my life, and others have the same right. I will not be the right fit for everyone, and I am good with that.
- How I react is my responsibility – Everyone has things happen to them that is out of their control and I am no different. I realize that sometimes people will hurt me intentionally and sometimes unintentional, but I am only responsible for how I react. What someone else does, will not determine how I react or the decisions that I make. I will not waste too much time feeling sorry for myself or stay in a victim mentality. I am responsible for my life and my worth. I will forgive quickly and often, not just others, but myself as well. I am responsible for me.
- I have a purpose and work towards achieving it – I can help others by helping myself. I am not selfish, but I realize that I am responsible for creating the life I desire. I find joy in doing what I love, and I believe others should do the same. I am not being selfish when I spend time and energy working on the life I desire. I believe that I was created to accomplish a purpose while here on earth, and I intend to work hard towards achieving it.
- I am happy when others succeed – I am thankful for the successful people I have in my life. I love seeing them succeed and it challenges me to be better as well. I never think that someone else’s success could keep me from success. I delight in seeing other people win. In fact, I will do everything I can to support them and help them. When I see their success, it encourages me to know that I can do it too. Everyone has the ability to achieve the goals and dreams they desire, and it brings me joy to see people doing it!
- I am grateful – I am so very thankful for everything in my life, the big things as well as the small things. I know that I do not deserve anything, and this makes me even more grateful. Even in my challenges, and when life is the toughest, I can find something to be grateful for. I will practice gratitude everyday because I understand that gratitude not only changes my perspective, but it changes the situation. It turns what I have into enough and makes room for more.
- I am my own best cheerleader – How I feel about myself is the key to my success. I will speak to myself the way I would speak to a loved one. I will cheer myself own as though I were cheering on my child at a sporting event. I believe in myself and my ability to accomplish whatever it is I am supposed to do. I know I can’t do it alone, but I will seek out others with like-minded goals who will help hold me accountable and give me support. I am worth investing in, and my purpose is of value to this world. I am enough!
- I am loved – I believe I was wonderfully made by my awesome creator and heavenly father, God. He is the only thing I place my worth in. I know that I am a part of something so much bigger than myself that I cannot even comprehend. I am but a speck in a massive universe with God on His throne. I am humbled to experience even a part of it and will do whatever I can to show my appreciation to the one who thought me into existence. Everything I am and ever will be, is because of His amazing love for me, His never-ending mercy, and His amazing grace! When I start to doubt my worth for even a second, all I need to do is remember this.
Remember, we can all find ourselves feeling less than worthy on any given day. Therefore, it is important to be intentional of our thoughts. What you think will determine what you do. Put these 10 thinking habits to practice and you will be amazed by the difference in how you see and value yourself.
Kim Martin, Founder of I’ve Decided, INC