A mistake we can often make is focusing on the desired outcome we want rather than the changes we need to make to get the result we’re looking for. Confidence isn’t something you can just put on, like an outfit. So, you can’t just say you want to be more confident. Being confident requires behavior changes. If you want to be more confident then you will need to focus on the change instead of the result. Here are 4 things you can stop doing to change the behaviors that could be causing you to be less confident.
Stop apologizing – Yes, apologizing when you’ve genuinely done something that is hurtful to someone is definitely the right thing to do. What we are referring to is apologizing simply for being you. Think about someone you know who is constantly saying, “I’m sorry!” You accidentally say the wrong thing, you misplace a paper, you fail to provide the correct information, you had to make a different priority, your outfit doesn’t seem appropriate, you feel like you’re being loud, or not loud enough. You’re too tall, too short, or whatever it may be. You get the idea. You should never apologize for being you. You are enough! You aren’t perfect, never will be, but you don’t have to constantly apologize for it. No one should have to apologize for every shortcoming.
Stop focusing on past mistakes – Ruminating on everything you’ve ever done wrong in your life will no doubt steal your confidence. Every human being has a past of regrets and mistakes. Yes, consider your failures and learn from them, but don’t focus on them. There is a reason the rear view mirror is small, and the windshield is big. Keep your thoughts on where you’re going and leave the past where it belongs.
Stop worrying about what you can’t control – When you focus on things that are out of your control, it can cause stress, anxiety, and depression. The only thing you can control is you. What are you doing to improve yourself, build your confidence, and achieve the goals and dreams you desire. There is plenty to distract us from what matters if you let it, but if it’s not something you can change, don’t allow it to take residence in your mind and thoughts.
Stop expecting perfection – Expecting perfection is one of the biggest causes of procrastination. When you procrastinate and don’t do what you know you should do, it lowers your confidence in yourself. Every time you break a promise to yourself, your confidence suffers. It will never be the perfect time, the perfect environment, the perfect opportunity. The time to go for your goals and dreams is now, in this imperfect moment! Expect mistakes, don’t expect perfection. Remember, confidence is a mental muscle; it gets stronger each time you use it.